Shawn-isms

January 26, 2009

Whenever we get to Nashvegas (as we call it), the wife and I always try to spend time with one of my oldest friends, Shawn. We love him to death, as we both think he’s one of the funniest guys we’ve ever known, and certainly one of the most thoughtful. His holiday care packages are nothing short of brilliant- but that’s another post- when I can give you pics and a proper example of what I mean.

Anyway, this past Christmas we saw Shawn, and he’s one of the few that can get me to shut up for a minute. That’s because he’s a storyteller, in the truest form of the Southern tradition, and man is he good at it. He’s always funny, never having to go back to repeat anything, or add forgotten details. It’s like a well rehearsed comedy routine, where the story flows out like a river that you get swept away in, and along the way you find gems. Some of those are the little embellishments he makes, metaphors that, not only clarify, but bring a smile and laugh with them.  This sort of practice has typically been a tradition in the south, but we just call them Shawn-isms. Here are a few we think are brilliant.

1) She’d be ugly in a bathtub full of diamonds

2) That place was so small you couldn’ cuss a cat without getting a mouth full of fur!

3) She was ugly enough to haunt a nine room house with two bathrooms!

4) She was all torn up- you know “wheels on the bus go round and round”, well she got tossed under it.

5) She was so ugly she’d make a train take a dirt road!

These were just a few, as it didn’t dawn on me to start writing these down until it was half way thru the visit with him. I don’t think enough of us use these colorful metaphors any more, so I say it’s time that we as Americans save this grand ole southern practice. Use these whenever possible on a daily basis. Make your own, share them with friends, but try, try, try.

We can’t wait until we get the chance to see Shawn again.

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2 Responses to “Shawn-isms”

  1. richard said

    Funny stuff. It’s always great to hear those phrases.
    Thanks for sharing them.
    R

  2. Brooke said

    I’ve heard a couple of good one’s now that I am in good ol’ South Carolina –

    1. After a big meal a guy at work said “I’m like a tick fixin to fall off”

    2. After another meal (we eat a lot here), someone said “her pie is so good it’ll make a hare hug a hound”

    God I love the south!

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