Some stupid Disney exec, who’s never been to a Pixar film with kids in the crowd, came up with this
Yeah, I can see this working as an addition for the home market to keep kids interested in a film for a third, or fourth, viewing, but in a theater? How annoying are cell phones in cinemas to begin with? Those screens lighting up every twenty seconds when some idiot texts to their friend about “how cute so-n-so is”, or what “they’re wearing to the party tomorrow night”, or how they “wanna sneak liquor out of their grandparents house”? Now you want to encourage small children (who have no sense of manners) some landing strip lights to flood out the movie with?! As if sitting behind someone who’s 7′ tall isn’t bad enough, now to have an illuminated billboard popping up randomly during the important bits of a film? Telling kids it’s ok to scream at each other over a game, with a constant “tap,tap,tap”, and telling Mommy how David cheated? With “Look at my high score!”, or “Mom, mom, mom, mom, did you know…mom, mom, mom, like, the fish, he’s a flounder, did you know that? Huh? Mom, mom, mom…”.

Seriously, you think this is a good idea? Why? Because movie theaters with rambunctious kids aren’t annoying enough as it is? Your solution is to get them all riled up with other activities?! Will that solve your attendance problem? Really? Perhaps it’s the fact adults can’t enjoy films because kids aren’t being controlled as they should? Between the noise and “superfund sites” that parents leave behind, why pay a minimum of $30 for a parent, a kid, and a box of popcorn when a Disney DVD is only $24? Maybe it’s that theater owners don’t do enough to make cinemas about watching a movie, and not about “hanging out”, or letting parents treat the rest of the audience as a free “babysitter” for two hours? If you really think distracting children more when they’re supposed to be sitting, watching a film, is a better idea, then why not give them a free large mountain dew and box of sugar babies with every app download? Then we can see if it’ll make their heads explode and be done with it!?!

Ugh. Thanks to Cartoon Brew for the heads up.